Tag Archives: Joseph Heller

What’s Your QQ*? #357

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published January 26, 2014 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “A birdie with a yellow bill/ Hopped upon the window sill,

Cocked his shining eye and said:/ ‘Ain’t you ‘shamed, you sleepy-head?’”

A. Jane Smiley

B. Robert Louis Stevenson

C. John Steinbeck

 

2. “My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.”

A. Mark Twain

B. Jack LaLanne

C. Stephen King

 

3. “Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.”

A. Rush Limbaugh

B. Jed Clampett

C. John F. Kennedy

 

4. “Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?/ Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?”

A. Judy Collins

B. Luther Burbank

C. Pete Seeger

 

5. “Mountains are earth’s undecaying monuments.”

A. Nathaniel Hawthorne

B. Thomas Jefferson

C. Crazy Horse

 

6. “The great rule of conduct for us, in regard to foreign nations, is, in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible.”

A. Michael Bloomberg

B. Randi Rhodes

C. George Washington

 

7. “When I read something saying I’ve not done anything as good as ‘Catch-22’ I’m tempted to reply, ‘Who has?'”

A. Joseph Campbell

B. Joseph Heller                                                              

C. Joseph Conrad

 

8. “Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.”

A. Salman Rushdie

B. Mario Savio

C. Alex Rodriguez

 

9. “Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the daylight of Life, which they are thenceforth to rule.”

A. Marcel Marceau

B. Paul Simon

C. Thomas Carlyle

 

10. “There’s a sexual revolution going on, and I think that with our current foreign policy, we’ll probably be sending troops there any minute to break it up.”

A. Mel Brooks

B. Elizabeth Warren

C. John McCain

 

 Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-C , 4-C , 5-A , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-C , 10-A

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Stars are like animals in the wild. We may see the young but never the actual birth, which is a veiled and secret event.” – Heinz R. Pagels

 (Pagels, 1939-1988, was an American physicist.)

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #354

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published January 5, 2014 in the Monterey County Herald.)

 

1. “Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.”

A. Jackson Pollock

B. Will Rogers

C. Mark Twain

 

2. “A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.”

A. Adlai Stevenson

B. William Howard Taft

C. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

 

3. “Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you have an obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contribution in life unless you do this.”

A. Eleanor Roosevelt

B. The Kingston Trio

C. Julius Caesar

 

4. “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.”

A. George Orwell

B. John McCain

C. Karl Marx

 

5. “A man’s work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.”

A. Knute Rockne

B. Eleanor Roosevelt

C. W.C. Fields

 

6. “I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”

A. Debbie Allen

B. Woody Allen

C. Joan Allen

 

7. “There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified the concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.”

A. William Faulkner

B. Flip Wilson

C. Joseph Heller

 

8. “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery.’?”

A. Benjamin Franklin

B. George Noory

C. Jay Leno

 

9. “I always go to sea as a sailor, because they make a point of paying me for my trouble, whereas they never pay passengers a single penny that I ever heard of.”

A. Herman Melville

B. Truman Capote

C. Christopher Columbus

 

10. “Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.”

A. Alfred Hitchcock

B. Alfred Lord Tennyson

C. Alfred E. Neuman

 

 

 

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-A , 4-C , 5-B , 6-B , 7-C , 8-C , 9-A , 10-B

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”  – Aleister Crowley

 (Crowley, 1857-1947,was a controversial English occultist, ceremonial magician, poet and mountaineer.)

 

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #343

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published October 20, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “The beaches are clean where once they festered with fish guts and flies. The canneries which once put up a sickening stench are gone, their places filled with restaurants, antique shops and the like. They fish for tourists now, not pilchards, and that species they are not likely to wipe out.”

A. Clint Eastwood

B. John Steinbeck

C. Robert Louis Stevenson

2. “He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.”

A. Drew Barrymore

B. Christopher Columbus

C. Joseph Heller

3. “Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say.”

A. W.H. Auden

B. Kim Kardashian

C. Henry Cabot Lodge

4. “Power is always gradually stealing away from the many to the few, because the few are more vigilant and consistent; it still contracts to a smaller number, till in time it centers in a single person.”

A. Lyndon Johnson

B. Samuel Johnson

C. Magic Johnson

5. “The paradox of courage is that a man must be a little careless of his life even in order to keep it.”

A. Gilbert K. Chesterton

B. Evel Knievel

C. Rube Goldberg

6. “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

A. Harry S. Truman

B. Wolfgang Puck

C. Dwight D. Eisenhower

7.  “A man always has two reasons for what he does–a good one, and the real one.”

A. Wayne Gretzky

B. Dagwood Bumstead

C. J.P. Morgan

8. “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.”

A. Marcel Marceau

B. Gracie Allen

C. Spiro Agnew

9. “Play it once, Sam. For old times’ sake.”

A. Dustin Hoffman

B. Kirstie Alley

C. Ingrid Bergman

10. “School is about two parts ABCs to fifty parts ‘Where Do I Stand in the Great Pecking Order of Humankind.'”

A. Barbara Kingsolver

B. Barbara Boxer

C. Barbara Stanwyck

 

Answers: 1-B, 2-C , 3-A , 4-B , 5-A , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-C , 10-A

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Goodness does not more certainly make men happy than happiness makes them good.” – Walter Savage Landor

(Landor, 1775-1864, was an English writer and poet.)

 

 


 

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What’s Your QQ? #247

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BONUS QUOTE OF THE DAY

Murphy’s Love Laws: “Any ‘Why’ question, has no answer, and if it does, that answer is not logical.” – Edward Murphy

 (Murphy, 1918-1990, was an aerospace engineer who originated Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”)

 


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