Tag Archives: Joan Rivers

What’s Your Quotation Quotient? #466

Published March 13, 2016 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle (Click HERE to play the Interactive version)


 

1. “Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.”

 

A. Margaret Thatcher

B. Richard Nixon

C. Oscar Wilde

 

2. “I remember summing up what I took to be our destiny, in conversation with my best friend at Chartres, by the formula, ‘Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.’”

 

A. Jerry Lewis

B. C.S. Lewis

C. Jerry Lee Lewis

 

3. “On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone.”

 

A. Janis Joplin

B. Taylor Swift

C. Donald Trump

 

4. “Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that are forever blowing through one’s mind.”

 

A. Willie Mays

B. Mark Twain

C. Mitt Romney

 

5. “Country is soul music for white people.”

 

A. Paul Shaffer

B. Benjamin Franklin

C. Luciano Pavarotti

 

6. “In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.”

 

A. John McCain

B. Mikhail Gorbachev

C. Dwight D. Eisenhower

 

7. “Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.”

 

A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Joan Rivers

C. Michelle Obama

 

8. “Intelligence–yes, but of what kind and aim? There is the intelligence of Socrates, and the intelligence of a thief or a forger.”

 

A. Ralph Waldo Emerson

B. Ho Chi Minh

C. Bernard Madoff

 

9. “When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we’d been saying they were.”

 

A. Don Draper

B. John F. Kennedy

C. Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

10. “The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron.”

 

A. George Washington

B. George Soros

C. George Will

 

 

Answers: 1-C, 2-B , 3-A , 4-B , 5-A , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-B , 10-C

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

 

BONUS QUOTE:

“To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs. ”

― Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, was an Austrian writer, known for his satire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #390

*QUOTATION QUOTIENT

(Published September 14, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)

 

1. “In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.”

 

A. Matt Lauer

B. Carl Sandburg

C. Barack Obama

 

2. “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

 

A. Albert Einstein

B. Mary Tyler Moore

C. Martin Luther King

 

3. “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.”

 

A. Yogi Berra

B. Oscar Mayer

C. David Letterman

 

4. “The United States, as the world knows, will never start a war.”

 

A. John F. Kennedy

B. George W. Bush

C. Rachel Maddow

 

5. “Before publishers’ blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.”

 

A. John Steinbeck

B. Mark Twain

C. Laurence J. Peter

 

6. “Life is the sum of all your choices.”

 

A. Albert Camus

B. Yoda

C. Meryl Streep

 

7. “I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. He said from now on I have to pay in advance.”

 

A. Judge Judy

B. Rodney Dangerfield

C. Billy Graham

 

8. “What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it—like a secret vice!”

 

A. Anne Boleyn

B. Anne of Green Gables

C. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

 

9. “An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.”

 

A. Thomas Jefferson

B. Victor Hugo

C. Archie Bunker

 

10. “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”

 

A. Nancy Pelosi

B. Joan Rivers

C. Abraham Lincoln

 

Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-C , 4-A , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-C , 9-B , 10-B

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

 “I passed a mirror recently and saw my mother there./ She seemed surprised to see me. I’d caught her unaware./ But there’s no mistake about it. The dewlaps and graying hair/ Are so familiar to me I’d know them anywhere.” — Genevieve Smith Whitford

 (Whitford, 1915-2011, was a poet and the mother of actor Bradley Whitford.)

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #347

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published November 17, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “We think our civilization near its meridian, but we are yet only at the cock-crowing and the morning star. In our barbarous society the influence of character is in its infancy.”

 A. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

B. Ralph Waldo Emerson

C. Confucius

 

2. “Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.”

A. Mary Ingalls

B. Chelsea Handler

C. Helen Keller

 

3. “A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!”

A. William Shakespeare

B. Brian Boudreau

C. Gary Stevens

 

4. “What is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”

A. J. Edgar Hoover

B. Anthony Weiner

C. Ernest Hemingway

 

5. Los Angeles: “Nineteen suburbs in search of a metropolis.”

A. H.L. Mencken

B. Bill Maher

C. Clark Kent

 

6. “And that’s the way it is.”

A. Edward R. Murrow

B. Walter Cronkite

C. Dina Ruiz Eastwood

 

7. “I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”

A. Princess Diana

B. Martha Stewart

C. Joan Rivers

 

8. “The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.”

A. George Orwell

B. Rob Reiner

C. Eric Holder

 

9. “Round up the usual suspects.”

A. “Risky Business”

B. “The Treasure of Sierra Madre”

C. “Casablanca”

 

10. “It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”

A. Thomas Hobbes

B. Calvin and Hobbes

C. Joel Osteen

 

Answers:  1-B, 2-C , 3-A , 4-C , 5-A , 6-B , 7-C , 8-A , 9-C , 10-B

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 

“Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” – William Goldman

 

(Goldman, b. 1931-, is an American novelist, playwright and screenwriter.)

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #339

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published September 22, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings, only one thing endures and that is character.”

A. Horace Greeley

B. Arnold Schwarzenegger

C. Babe Ruth

2. “A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.”

A. John Stuart Mill

B. Lady Bird Johnson

C. Joan Rivers

3. “Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.”

A. Barack Obama

B. Oscar Wilde

C. k. d. lang

4. “If, of all words of tongue and pen,/ The saddest are, ‘It might have been,’/ More sad are these we daily see:/ ‘It is, but hadn’t ought to be’.”

A. Bret Harte

B. Jon Stewart

C. Louisa May Alcott

5. “Life resembles the banquet of Damocles; the sword is ever suspended.”

A. King Arthur

B. Voltaire

C. Michael Jackson

6. “When I stop working the rest of the day is posthumous. I’m only really alive when I’m writing.”

A. Thomas Paine

B. William Shakespeare

C. Tennessee Williams

7. “What is broken is broken – and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

A. Dennis Mitchell

B. Margaret Mitchell

C. Joni Mitchell

8. “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘check enclosed.'”

A. Dorothy Parker

B. Carrie Underwood

C. Abraham Lincoln

9. “Music is the universal language of mankind.”

A. Ichabod Crane

B. Mick Jagger

C. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

10. “More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

A. Socrates

B. Marvin Hamlisch

C. Woody Allen

 

Answers: 1-A, 2C- , 3-B , 4-A , 5-B , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-C , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Half the work that is done in the world is to make things appear what they are not.”

 —  Erastus Flavel Beadle

 (Beadle, 1821-1894, was a pioneer in publishing pulp fiction.)

 

 

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