*QUOTATION QUOTIENT
(Published September 14, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)
1. “In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.”
A. Matt Lauer
B. Carl Sandburg
C. Barack Obama
2. “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
A. Albert Einstein
B. Mary Tyler Moore
C. Martin Luther King
3. “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.”
A. Yogi Berra
B. Oscar Mayer
C. David Letterman
4. “The United States, as the world knows, will never start a war.”
A. John F. Kennedy
B. George W. Bush
C. Rachel Maddow
5. “Before publishers’ blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.”
A. John Steinbeck
B. Mark Twain
C. Laurence J. Peter
6. “Life is the sum of all your choices.”
A. Albert Camus
B. Yoda
C. Meryl Streep
7. “I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. He said from now on I have to pay in advance.”
A. Judge Judy
B. Rodney Dangerfield
C. Billy Graham
8. “What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it—like a secret vice!”
A. Anne Boleyn
B. Anne of Green Gables
C. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
9. “An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.”
A. Thomas Jefferson
B. Victor Hugo
C. Archie Bunker
10. “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
A. Nancy Pelosi
B. Joan Rivers
C. Abraham Lincoln
Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-C , 4-A , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-C , 9-B , 10-B
Scoring: 10–QQQQ = Quote-Master
(number correct) 8-9–QQQ = Scholar
6-7–QQ = Literate
4-5–Q = Semi-Literate
0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce
BONUS QUOTE:
“I passed a mirror recently and saw my mother there./ She seemed surprised to see me. I’d caught her unaware./ But there’s no mistake about it. The dewlaps and graying hair/ Are so familiar to me I’d know them anywhere.” — Genevieve Smith Whitford
(Whitford, 1915-2011, was a poet and the mother of actor Bradley Whitford.)