Tag Archives: Steven Wright

What’s Your QQ*? #366

*Quotation Quotient

(Published March 30, 2014 in the Monterey County Herald.)

 

1. “In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

A. Eric Hoffer

B. Eric Clapton

C. Eric Cantor

 

2. “No man ever yet became great by imitation.”

A. Elvis Presley

B. Jimmy Fallon

C. Samuel Johnson

 

3. “You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.”

A. John Barrymore

B. Condoleezza Rice

C. Paul McCartney

 

4. “Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.”

A. Phil Bowhay

B. Thomas Jefferson

C. Rupert Murdoch

 

5. “Armaments, universal debt and planned obsolescence — those are the three pillars of Western prosperity.”

A. Kim Jong-un

B. Bill Mahr

C. Aldous Huxley

 

6. “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

A. Benjamin Franklin

B. Groucho Marx

C. Jack LaLanne

 

7. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”

A. Immanuel Kant

B. Dorothy Parker

C. Mario Andretti

 

8. “Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.”

A. Marilu Henner

B. Mathew Brady

C. Steven Wright

 

9. “She wears her clothes as if they are thrown on with a pitchfork”

A. Jonathan Swift

B. Chelsea Handler

C. Donatella Versace

 

10. “When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.”

A. Jerry Lewis

B. Eleanor Roosevelt

C. Warren G. Harding

 

 

Answers1-A, 2- C, 3-A, 4-B , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-C , 9-A , 10-B

 Scoring:              10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)       8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                  6-7–QQ = Literate

                                 4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q=Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

 “The friendships which last are those wherein each friend respects the other’s dignity to the point of not really wanting anything from him.”

- Cyril Connolly

 (Connolly, 1903-1974, was an English novelist and literary critic.)

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #345

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published November 3, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “The sun shines not on us but in us. The rivers flow not past but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing.”

A. Chris Rock

B. John Muir

C. Harry Houdini

2. “Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.”

A. Jacques Cousteau

B. Sandra Bullock

C. Bertrand Russell

3. “A leader is a dealer in hope.”

A. Bill Clinton

B. Barack Obama

C. Napoleon Bonaparte

4. “I make all my decisions on intuition. I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect.”

A. Ingmar Bergman

B. Tarzan

C. Henry David Thoreau

5. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

A. Helen Hunt

B. Helen Keller

C. Helen Reddy

6. “It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.”

A. Steven Wright

B. Thomas Edison

C. Cesar Chavez

7. “The great masses of the people will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.”

A. Lance Armstrong

B. Calvin Coolidge

C. Adolf Hitler

8. “The most baleful mischiefs may be expected from the unmanly conduct of not daring to face truth because it is unpleasing.”

A. Geoffrey Chaucer

B. Thomas Malthus

C. Jane Parker

9. “It always bothers me to see people writing ‘RIP’ when a person dies. It just feels so insincere and like a cop-out. To me, ‘RIP’ is the microwave dinner of posthumous honors.”

A. John Madden

B. Lou Reed

C. Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”

A. Edgar Allan Poe

B. Tom Cruise

C. Sigmund Freud

 

Answers: 1-B, 2-C , 3-C , 4-A , 5-B , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-B , 10-A

 Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

 “Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.” – Joyce Armor

 (Armor is an American humorist and children’s poet.)

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #325

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published June 16, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”

A. Gabriel Garcia Marquez

B. Luke Skywalker

C. Michael Douglas

2. “The makers of our Constitution… conferred, as against the Government, the right to be let alone–the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men.”

A. Senator Dianne Feinstein

B. Sergeant Joe Friday

C. Justice Louis Brandeis

3. “You can’t handle the truth!” — Jack Nicholson

A. “The Shining”

B. “A Few Good Men”

C. “Five Easy Pieces”

4. “I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.”

A. Chevy Chase

B. John McCain

C. Dwight D. Eisenhower

5. “The chain of friendship, however bright, does not stand the attrition of constant close contact.”

A. Sir Walter Scott

B. Sir Francis Drake

C. Sir Gawain

6. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

A. Nicolaus Copernicus

B. Oscar Wilde

C. Spiro Agnew

7. “Originality is merely an illusion.”

A. M. C. Escher

B. George Washington

C. James Frey

8. “We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.”

A. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

B. Woody Allen

C. Judith Martin (Miss Manners)

9. “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

A. Frank Lloyd Wright

B. Steven Wright

C. Orville Wright

10. “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”

A. Sigmund Freud

B. Dennis Quaid

C. Liberace

 

Answers: 1-A, 2-C , 3-B , 4-C , 5-A , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-B , 10-A

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “One word of command from me is obeyed by millions … but I cannot get my three daughters, Pamela, Felicity and Joan, to come down to breakfast on time.” – General Archibald Wavell

 (Wavell, 1883-1950, was field marshal and commander of British army forces during World War II.)

 

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What’s Your QQ? #299

Published December 16, 2012 in the Monterey County Herald

Who said?

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” 

BONUS QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”  – Tom Stoppard

 (Stoppard, b.1937, is a Czech-born British playwright.)

 

 

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