Tag Archives: Phyllis Diller

What’s Your Quotation Quotient? #424

Published May 8-10, 2015 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle (Interactive version)
 

 SPECIAL MOTHER’S DAY EDITION

1. “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.”

 

A. Oprah Winfrey

B. Louis Pasteur

C. Kim Kardashian

 

2. “Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

 

A. Noah Webster

B. Arnold Schwarzenegger

C. Ambrose Bierce

 

3. “It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.”

 

A. Bob Barker

B. Phyllis Diller

C. Pope Benedict XVI

 

4. “Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.”

 

A. Satchel Paige

B. Aristotle

C. Joseph Stalin

 

5. “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”

 

A. Oscar Mayer

B. Oscar Pistorius

C. Oscar Wilde

 

6. “There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness… The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.”

 

A. Andrew Jackson

B. Ralph Nader

C. Mao Tse-Tung

 

7. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

 

A. Rocky Marciano

B. Charles Darwin

C. Milton Berle

 

8. “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

 

A. Al Capone

B. Abraham Lincoln

C. J. D. Salinger

 

9. “A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”

 

A. Robert Frost

B. Robert Reich

C. Robert De Niro

 

10. “Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not.”

 

A. Thomas Jefferson

B. Taylor Swift

C. James Joyce

 

 

Answers: 1-A, 2-C , 3-B , 4-B , 5-C , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-A , 10-C

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

 “A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”

 ― Dorothy Canfield Fisher, 1879-1958, was an American educational reformer, social activist, and author.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #401

*QUOTATION QUOTIENT

(Published November 30, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)

 

1. “A child should always say what’s true,/ And speak when he is spoken to,/ And behave mannerly at table;/ At least as far as he is able.”

 

A. Robert Louis Stevenson

B. W. C. Fields

C. Dr. Seuss

 

2. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”

 

A. Angelina Jolie

B. Manuel Noriega

C. Phyllis Diller

 

3. “I hate being placed on committees. They are always having meetings at which half are absent and the rest late.”

 

A. Dilbert

B. Harry Belafonte

C. Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

4. “Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”

 

A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Joyce Kilmer

C. Cyrus McCormick

 

5. “There is no pleasure to me without communication; there is not so much as a sprightly thought comes into my mind, that it does not grieve me to have produced alone, and that I have no one to tell it to.”

 

A. Larry King

B. Michel de Montaigne

C. Rosie O’Donnell

 

6. “Words can be deceitful, but pantomime necessarily is simple, clear and direct.”

 

A. Teller

B. Marcel Marceau

C. Erica Jong

 

7. “Population, when unchecked, increases in a geometrical ratio. Subsistence increases only in an arithmetical ratio.”

 

A. Thomas Malthus

B. Isaac Newton

C. Garrison Keillor

 

8. “Because of their age-long training in human relations — for that is what feminine intuition really is — women have a special contribution to make to any group enterprise.”

 

A. Agatha Christie

B. Bill Murray

C. Margaret Mead

 

9. “A man’s maturity–consists in having found again the seriousness one had as a child, at play.”

 

A. James Buchanan

B. Friedrich Nietzsche

C. Macaulay Culkin

 

10. “I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.”

 

A. John Oliver

B. John Quincy Adams

C. John F. Kennedy

 

 

Answers: 1-A, 2-C , 3-C , 4-A , 5-B , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-B , 10-C

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

 

“Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.” – George Jean Nathan

 (Nathan, 1882-1958, was the leading American drama critic of his time.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #330

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published July 21, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power.”  

A. Al Capone

B. Kurt Vonnegut

C. Charlton Heston

2. “Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive.”

A. Mahatma Gandhi

B. Norman Rockwell

C. William F. Buckley, Jr.

3. “A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn’t feel like it.”

A. Click and Clack

B. Alistair Cooke

C. Dilbert

4. “The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.”

A. Anthony Weiner

B. William Safire

C. Diana Ross

5. “Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,/ Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;/ Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,/ Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away.”

A. Stephen Foster

B. Stephen Colbert

C. Stephen King

6. “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.”

A. Elaine Benes

B. Curious George

C. Eleanor Roosevelt

7. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”

A. Bertrand Russell

B. Pope Francis

C. Ty Cobb

8. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

A. Phyllis Diller

B. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

C. Martha Stewart

9. “Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.” 

A. Kate Middleton

B. Adlai Stevenson

C. H.L. Mencken

10. “The tragedy of life is not that we die, but is rather, what dies inside a man while he lives.”

A. John Travolta

B. Henry Ford

C. Albert Schweitzer

 

Answers: 1-B, 2-C , 3-B , 4-B , 5-A , 6-C , 7-A , 8-A , 9-C , 10-C

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

“Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.” – Edward Abbey

(Abbey, 1927-1989, wrote “The Monkey Wrench Gang” and other   radical environmental books.)

 

 

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What’s Your QQ? #306

Published February 3, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald

Who said?

“The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.” 

BONUS QUOTE OF THE DAY:

“If (the Super Bowl is) the ultimate game, why are they playing it again next year?” – Duane Thomas

 (Running back Thomas helped Dallas win the Super Bowl in 1972.)

 


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