*Quotation Quotient
(Published April 14, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)
1. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
A. C. Everett Koop
B. Don Draper
C. Erma Bombeck
2. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”
A. Rick Pitino
B. Albert Einstein
C. Sean Hannity
3. “Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?”
A. Ralph Waldo Emerson
B. Kate Middleton
C. Emily Dickinson
4. “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
A. Wolfgang Puck
B. Bill Clinton
C. Harry S. Truman
5. “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”
A. Mel Brooks
B. Warren G. Harding
C. Henry David Thoreau
6. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”
A. Hugh Hefner
B. Jimmy Choo
C. Marilyn Monroe
7. “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them. ”
A. Abraham Lincoln
B. Lily Tomlin
C. Brian Williams
8. “We’ll always have Paris.”
A. Humphrey Bogart
B. Barron Hilton
C. Charles de Gaulle
9. “Go into the street and give one man a lecture on morality and another a shilling, and see which will respect you most.”
A. Samuel Johnson
B. Samuel Jackson
C. Samuel Clemens
10. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”
A. Donald Trump
B. Margaret Thatcher
C. Barbara Walters
Answers: 1-C, 2-B , 3-A , 4-C , 5-C , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-A , 10-B
Scoring: 10–QQQQ = Quote-Master
(number correct) 8-9–QQQ = Scholar
6-7–QQ = Literate
4-5–Q = Semi-Literate
0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce
BONUS QUOTE:
“Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” – Irvin S. Cobb
(Cobb, 1876-1944, was an American author, journalist, and humorist.)
