Tag Archives: Groucho Marx

What’s Your QQ*? #395

*QUOTATION QUOTIENT

(Published October 19, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)

 

1. “I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”

 

A. Pete Seeger

B. Abraham Maslow

C. Gerald Ford

 

2. “Make wars unprofitable and you make them impossible.”

 

A. Dick Cheney

B. Gene Autry

C. A. Philip Randolph

 

3. “Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come.”

 

A. John McCain

B. Carl Sandburg

C. Peyton Manning

 

4. “Life is a disease; and the only difference between one another is the stage of the disease at which he lives”

 

A. George Takei

B. George Washington

C. George Bernard Shaw

 

5. “’Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

 

A. Colonel Sanders

B. Rachael Ray

C. William Shakespeare

 

6. “We do not talk – we bludgeon one another with facts and theories gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and digests.”

 

A. George Will

B. Henry Miller

C. Thomas Paine

 

7. “There are more criminals out of jail than in jail, the only difference is that the majority of those who are out, are such skillful criminals that they know how to keep themselves out.”
A. Marcus Garvey

B. Mandy Patinkin

C. J.P. Morgan

 

8. “She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”

 

A. Pamela Anderson

B. Maria Callas

C. Groucho Marx

 

9. “No verse can give pleasure for long, nor last, that is written by drinkers of water.”

 

A. Horace

B. Robert Frost

C. Dean Martin

 

10. “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”

 

A. Henry van Dyke

B. Dick Van Dyke

C. Jerry Van Dyke

 

 

 

Answers: 1-B, 2-C , 3-B , 4-C , 5-C , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-A , 10-A

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

 

“Love and time, those are the only two things in all the world and all of life that cannot be bought, but only spent.”  ― Gary Jennings

 (Jennings, 1928-1999, was an American author of adult and children’s books.)

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #344

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published October 27, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”

A. Rodney Dangerfield

B. Freddy Krueger

C. John Foster Dulles

2. “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.”

A. Harpo Marx

B. Groucho Marx

C. Warren Buffett

3. “Water, water, every where,/ And all the boards did shrink;/

Water, water, every where,/ Nor any drop to drink.”

A. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

B. Tom Hanks

C. Edgar Allan Poe

4. “If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. ”

A. Carrie White

B. Pearl S. Buck

C. Honus Wagner

5. “The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.”

A. Prince Charles

B. Mark Twain

C. Benjamin Franklin

6. “If a man sits down to think, he is immediately asked if has a headache.”

A. Auguste Rodin

B. Ralph Waldo Emerson

C. Plato

7. “Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course other may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”

A. Aaron Burr

B. Bea Arthur

C. Patrick Henry

8. “There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.”

A. George S. Patton

B. Snooki

C. Alexander Hamilton

9. “They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. But in modern war there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason.”

A. Ernest Hemingway

B. John McCain

C. Jonathan Livingston Seagull

10. “A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises.  Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night. “

A. Lesley Stahl

B. J.M. Barrie

C. Boris Karloff

 

Answers: 1-A, 2-B , 3-A , 4-B , 5-C , 6-B , 7-C , 8-A , 9-A , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

 “Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond

 (Almond, 1966- , is an American short story writer and essayist.)

 


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What’s Your QQ*? #320

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published May 12, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”

A. Nurse Ratched

B. Elizabeth Taylor

C. Groucho Marx

2. “Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.”

A. Laurence J. Peter

B. Bashar al-Assad

C. Harry Truman

3. “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

A. Miguel de Cervantes

B. Dr. Seuss

C. Mickey Mantle

4. “That’s the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,/ Lest you should think he never could recapture/ The first fine careless rapture!”

A. Robert Browning

B. Ernest Hemingway

C. Gwyneth Paltrow

5. “A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.”

A. Paul Revere

B. Bill Shoemaker

C. Benjamin Franklin

6. “The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”

A. Mark Twain

B. Leslie Stahl

C. Will Rogers

7. “While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as though he were sure of it. If at the end your cheerfulness in not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful.”

A. Orson Welles

B. Dawn Wells

C. H. G. Wells

8. “It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”

A. Reese Witherspoon

B. Winston Churchill

C. J.R.R. Tolkien

9. “I hate driving, and I hate when people honk at me. Unless I’m making a left turn. Then I like it because that’s how I know it’s time to turn.”

A. Rita Hayworth

B. Rita Rudner

C. Rita Moreno

10. “The measure of a man’s life is the well spending of it, and not the length.”

A. Plutarch

B. Bruno Mars

C. Edgar Cayce

 

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-B , 4-A , 5-C , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-B , 10-A

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

 “Children may forget what you say, but they’ll never forget how you make them feel.” – Parker Palmer

 (Palmer is an author, educator and speaker about education, spirituality, and social change.)

 

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What’s Your QQ*? #317

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published April 21, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.”   

A. Audie Murphy

B. Walt Whitman

C. Winston Churchill

2. “Unless the cause of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it hardly can hope to succeed.”

A. Albert Einstein

B. Bo Diddley

C. Arnold Schwarzenegger 

3. “Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.”

A. Louis C.K.

B. Henry David Thoreau

C. Mary Shelley

4. “Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

A. Groucho Marx

B. Mother Teresa

C. Mark Cuban

5. “Of all the trees that grow so fair Old England to adorn, /Greater are none beneath the Sun/ Than Oak, and Ash and Thorn.”

A. Ogden Nash

B. Dizzy Dean

C. Rudyard Kipling

6. “I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.”

A. Chuck Hagel

B. Willa Cather

C. Arlo Guthrie

7. “When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters — one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.”  

A. John F. Kennedy

B. Mao Tse-tung

C. Julia Roberts

8. “Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”

A. Art Linkletter

B. Vincent van Gogh

C. Oscar Wilde

9.”‘Tis not the dying for a faith that’s so hard… ‘Tis the living up to it that’s difficult.”  

A. Lindsay Lohan

B. William Thackeray

C. Jimmy Swaggart

10. “Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!”

 A. Horace

B. Prince

C. Diogenes

 

 

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-B , 4-A , 5-C , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-B , 10-A

 

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Power will intoxicate the best hearts, as wine the strongest heads. No man is wise enough, nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited power.” –Charles Caleb Colton

 (Colton, 1780-1832, was an English clergyman and author.)

 

 

 

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