Tag Archives: George Carlin

What’s Your Quotation Quotient? #449

Published November 8, 2015 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle (Click HERE to play the Interactive version)


1. “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.”

A. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

B. Howard Hughes

C. Antonio Banderas

2. “There is a terrific disadvantage in not having the abrasive quality of the press applied to you daily…even though we never like it, and even though we wish they didn’t write it, and even though we disapprove, there isn’t any doubt that we could not do the job at all in a free society without a very, very active press.”

A. Reince Priebus

B. John F. Kennedy

C. Josiah “Jed” Bartlet

3. “Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of.”

A. Jane Austen

B. Jane Fonda

C. Jane Lynch

4. “I’ve often said there’s nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.”

A. Bill Shoemaker

B. Bill Gates

C. Ronald Reagan

5. “It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”

A. William Shakespeare

B. Hugh Laurie

C. Yogi Berra

6. “Indecision may or may not be my problem.”

A. Jimmy Buffett

B. George W. Bush

C. Vladimir Putin

7. “The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking.. the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.”

A. Harry S. Truman

B. Leonardo da Vinci

C. Albert Einstein

8. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

A. Pablo Picasso

B. George Carlin

C. Pope Francis

9. “Happy trails to you, until we meet again./ Happy trails to you, keep smilin’ until then.”

A. Will Rogers and Wiley Post

B. Mr. Rogers and Mr. McFeely

C. Roy Rogers and Dale Evans

10. “I have nothing new to teach the world. Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills. All I have done is to try experiments in both on as vast a scale as I could.”

A. Mahatma Gandhi

B. Adolf Hitler

C. Jimmy Carter


Answers: 1-A, 2-B , 3-A , 4-C , 5-B , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-C , 10-A

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce


“We should look in society not for consensus, but for in eliminable and acceptable conflicts, and for rationally controlled hostilities, as the normal condition of mankind…Harmony and inner consensus come with death.”

–Stuart Hampshire, 1914-2004, was an Oxford University philosopher.

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What’s Your Quotation Quotient? #437

Published August 16, 2015 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle (Interactive version)


1. “The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

A. Keith Olbermann

B. Lawrence Welk

C. Steve Jobs

2. “All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

A. Fran Lebowitz

B. Norman Vincent Peale

C. Dr. Ruth Westheimer

3. “To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self.”

A. Joan Didion

B. Joan Rivers

C. Joan Baez

4. “Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”

A. Marlee Matlin

B. George Carlin

C. Lucy van Pelt

5. “A generation which ignores history has no past – and no future.”

A. Justin Bieber

B. Robert A. Heinlein

C. Aaron Burr

6. “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”

A. Ronald Reagan

B. Abraham Lincoln

C. Chester A. Arthur

7. “Being in a ship is like being in jail, with the chance of being drowned.”

A. Charles Manson

B. Captain Ahab

C. Samuel Johnson

8. “The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

A. Sam Farr

B. Will Rogers

C. Megyn Kelly

9. “All the world ‘s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.”

A. William Shakespeare

B. William Randolph Hearst

C. William Shatner

10. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

A. Sigmund Freud

B. Jennifer Aniston

C. Dr. Seuss


Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-A , 4-B , 5-B , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-A , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce


“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

― Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915, was an American writer, publisher and philosopher.

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What’s Your QQ*? #419

(Published April 3, 2015 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle, Interactive version)


1. “What could be worse than getting to the end of your life and realizing you hadn’t lived it?”        


A. Edward Norton

B. Edward Snowden

C. Edward Albee


2. “Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.”


A. James Thurber

B. Sarah Silverman

C. Thomas Edison


3. “God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools.”


A. John Lennon

B. John Muir

C. John Travolta


4. “I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”


A. Will Farrell

B. Susan B. Anthony

C. Nikita Khrushchev


5. “Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;/ Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;/ Thy fate is the common fate of all,/ Into each life some rain must fall,/ Some days must be dark and dreary.”


A. Billy Joel

B. Shel Silverstein

C. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


6. “The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back.”


A. Fred Allen

B. Jason Burnett

C. Bill Kampe


7. “Democracy don’t rule the world/ You’d better get that in your head/  This world is ruled by violence/ But I guess that’s better left unsaid.”


A. Bob Dylan

B. Donald Rumsfeld

C. Robert Frost


8. “When you are down and out something always turns up – and it is usually the noses of your friends.”


A. Frédéric Chopin

B. Orson Welles

C. James Naismith


9. “The American dream does not come to those who fall asleep.”


A. Richard Nixon

B. Martina Navratilova

C. Ruth Bader Ginsburg


10. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”


A. George Foreman

B. George Washington

C. George Carlin



Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-B , 4-B , 5-C , 6-A , 7-A , 8-B , 9-A , 10-C


Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce



“No social system in any country will bring us happiness, health, and prosperity unless it is inspired by something greater than materialism.”

– Clement R. Attlee, 1883-1967, was a Labour Party leader and British prime minister from 1945-1951.








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What’s Your QQ*? #378


(Published June 22, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)


1. “If your train’s on the wrong track every station you come to is the wrong station.”

A. Sir Isaac Newton

B. Bernard Malamud

C. Casey Jones


2. “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

A. Bertrand Russell

B. Auguste Rodin

C. Henry Kissinger


3. “Quoth the Raven ‘Nevermore.’”

A. Edgar Allan Poe

B. Edgar Cayce

C. Edgar Degas


4. “It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

A. Lex Luthor

B. Mark Twain

C. Andrew Jackson


5. “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

A. Rube Goldberg

B. William Randolph Hearst

C. Henry David Thoreau


6. “The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.”

A. David Gregory

B. Noam Chomsky

C. Lucille Ball


7. “Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.”

A. Katharine Hepburn

B. Bill “Bojangles” Robinson

C. Drew Barrymore


8. “What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?”

A. Boz Scaggs

B. Neil deGrasse Tyson

C. George Carlin


9. “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.”

A. Frank Gore

B. Al Gore

C. Lesley Gore


10. “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”

A. Carl Sagan

B. Casey Kasem

C. George Washington


Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-A , 4-B , 5-C , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-C , 10-B


Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q=Quote-Dunce



 “One can judge a civilization by the way it treats its women.” – Helen Foster Snow

(Snow, 1907-1997, was an American journalist who lived and reported from China in the turbulent 1930s.)

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