Tag Archives: Erma Bombeck

What’s Your Quotation Quotient? #447

Published October 25, 2015 at Montereyherald.com/lifestyle (Interactive version)

Special Halloween Edition

1. “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”

A. Pablo Picasso

B. H. P. Lovecraft

C. Jimmy Durante

2. “My candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open.”

A. Mary Shelley

B. Marilyn Monroe

C. Fay Wray

3. “Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.”

A. Angela Merkel

B. Lincoln Chafee

C. Chris Rock

4. “The thing under my bed waiting to grab my ankle isn’t real. I know that, and I also know that if I’m careful to keep my foot under the covers, it will never be able to grab my ankle.”

A. Stephen Breyer

B. Stephen King

C. Stephen Hawking

5. “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”

A. Harry S. Truman

B. Rodney Dangerfield

C. Napoleon Bonaparte

6. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.”

A. Erma Bombeck

B. Rachael Ray

C. Rudolph Nureyev

7. “Being in a band you can wear whatever you want – it’s like an excuse for Halloween every day.”

A. Gwen Stefani

B. Glenn Miller

C. Justin Trudeau

8. “Double, double toil and trouble;/ Fire burn and cauldron bubble.”

A. Joe Biden

B. Dr. Seuss

C. William Shakespeare

9. “But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. Because there are somethings you can’t go through in life and become friends, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”

A. C.S. Lewis

B. J. K. Rowling

C. J. D. Salinger

10. “Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,/ Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

A. Calvin and Hobbes

B. Edgar Allan Poe

C. George Bernard Shaw


Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-C , 4-B , 5-B , 6-A, 7-A , 8-C , 9-B , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce


“Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat…”

-Nicholas Gordon, b. 1940, is an American poet.

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What’s Your QQ*? #397


(Published November 2, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)


1. “A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.”


A. Theodore Roosevelt

B. Charlton Heston

C. Jimmy Carter


2. “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.”


A. Gustav Mahler

B. Michael Jordan

C. Thomas Edison


3. “What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?”


A. Art Garfunkel

B. Henry David Thoreau

C. Al Gore


4. “Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.”


A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Barbara Walters

C. Sanjay Gupta


5. “Come away, O human child!/ To the waters and the wild/ With a faery, hand in hand,/ For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand.”


A. W. B. Yeats

B. Maya Angelou

C. Lewis Carroll


6. “What’s done to children, they will do to society.”


A. Art Linkletter

B. Marie Antoinette

C. Karl A. Menninger


7. “Politics hates a vacuum. If it isn’t filled with hope, someone will fill it with fear.”


A. Naomi Klein

B. Franklin D. Roosevelt

C. Neil Simon


8. “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”


A. Fiorello LaGuardia

B. Erma Bombeck

C. Imelda Marcos


9. “Man is not the creature of circumstances, circumstances are the creatures of men. We are free agents, and man is more powerful than matter.”


A. Benjamin Harrison

B. Benjamin Netanyahu

C. Benjamin Disraeli


10. “People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.”


A. Chris Christie

B. Otto von Bismarck

C. Mariah Carey



Answers: 1-A, 2-C , 3-B , 4-A , 5-A , 6-C , 7-A , 8-B , 9-C , 10-B


Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce


 “In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard’s vote.”  ― David Foster Wallace

 (Wallace, 1962-2008, was an American writer, best known for his novel “Infinite Jest.”)








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What’s Your QQ*? #394


(Published October 12, 2014 in the Monterey Herald.)


1. “Everything is changing; people are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”


A. Will Rogers

B. Al Franken

C. Rick Perry


2. “It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.”


A. Barbara Kingsolver

B. Bing Crosby

C. Genghis Khan


3. “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”


A. John McEnroe

B. J.K. Rowling

C. Woodrow Wilson


4. “If life is a bowl of cherries what am I doing in the pits?”


A. Fyodor Dostoevsky

B. A. J. Foyt

C. Erma Bombeck


5. “Do you know what the greatest test is? Do you still get excited about what you do when you get up in the morning?”


A. David Bowie

B. David Halberstam

C. David Copperfield


6. “It is an open question whether any behavior based on fear of eternal punishment can be regarded as ethical or should be regarded as merely cowardly.”


A. Jimmy Swaggart

B. Mona Lisa

C. Margaret Mead


7. “The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible — and achieve it, generation after generation.”


A. Pearl S. Buck

B. Lady Gaga

C. John Wayne


8. “The good thing about writing fiction is that you can get back at people. I’ve gotten back at lawyers, prosecutors, judges, law professors, and politicians. I just line ’em up and shoot ’em.”


A. John Grisham

B. Bugsy Siegel

C. Jack London


9. “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”


A. King Midas

B. Ron Paul

C. J.R.R. Tolkien


10. “Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who is powerful? He that governs his passions. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.”


A. John Kerry

B. Benjamin Franklin

C. Nobody


Answers: 1-A, 2-A , 3-B , 4-C , 5-B , 6-C , 7-A , 8-A , 9-C , 10-B


Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce



“Our whole life is an attempt to discover when our spontaneity is whimsical, sentimental irresponsibility and when it is a valid expression of our deepest desires and values.” – Helen Merrell Lynd

 (Lynd, 1896-1982, was an American sociologist and educator.)








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What’s Your QQ*? #316

*Quotation Quotient

  (Published April 14, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)


1. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

A. C. Everett Koop

B. Don Draper

C. Erma Bombeck

2. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”

A. Rick Pitino

B. Albert Einstein

C. Sean Hannity

3. “Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?”

A. Ralph Waldo Emerson

B. Kate Middleton

C. Emily Dickinson

4. “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

A. Wolfgang Puck

B. Bill Clinton

C. Harry S. Truman

5. “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”

A. Mel Brooks

B. Warren G. Harding

C. Henry David Thoreau

6. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

A. Hugh Hefner

B. Jimmy Choo

C. Marilyn Monroe

7. “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them. ”

A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Lily Tomlin

C. Brian Williams

8. “We’ll always have Paris.”

A. Humphrey Bogart

B. Barron Hilton

C. Charles de Gaulle

9. “Go into the street and give one man a lecture on morality and another a shilling, and see which will respect you most.”

A. Samuel Johnson

B. Samuel Jackson

C. Samuel Clemens

10. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

A. Donald Trump

B. Margaret Thatcher

C. Barbara Walters



Answers: 1-C, 2-B , 3-A , 4-C , 5-C , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-A , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce



“Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” – Irvin S. Cobb

 (Cobb, 1876-1944, was an American author, journalist, and humorist.)

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