(Published June 9, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

 1. “Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t. ”

A. Pete Seeger

B. Socrates

C. Natty Bumpo

2. “All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.”

A. Pearl Jam

B. Pearl S. Buck

C. Pearl Bailey

3. “You may give {your children} your love but not your thoughts./ For they have their own thoughts./  You may house their bodies but not their souls,/ For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”

A. Edgar Allan Poe

B. Khalil Gibran

C. Edmund Burke

4. “The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.”

A. Amy Schumer

B. Hippocrates

C. Clarence Darrow

5. “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

A. Andy Kaufman

B. Thomas Jefferson

C. Winston Churchill

6. “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

A. Mark Twain

B. Pope Francis

C. Albert Einstein

7. “It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.”

A. Rihanna

B. Bertrand Russell

C. Edward R. Murrow

8. “Hold fast to dreams,/ For if dreams die/ Life is a broken-winged bird,/ That cannot fly.”

A. Langston Hughes

B. Shel Silverstein

C. Agatha Christie

9. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

A. Milton Friedman

B. Al Yankovic

C. J.K. Rowling

10. “A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”

A. Paul McCartney

B. Henry David Thoreau

C. Alexander Pope

Answers: 1-A, 2-B , 3-B , 4-C , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-A , 9-C , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

 “True eloquence consists in saying all that should be, not all that could be said.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 (La Rochefoucauld, 1613-1680, was a French author of maxims and memoirs.)

  (Published June 2, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

A. George Orwell

B. Rush Limbaugh

C. Dom DeLuise

2. “Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.”

A. A. J. Liebling

B. Rupert Murdoch

C. Johannes Gutenberg

3. “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.”

A. LeBron James

B. Tommy James

C. William James

4. “I have examined myself thoroughly and come to the conclusion that I don’t need to change much.”

A. Donald Trump

B. Sigmund Freud

C. John Hancock

5. “You want me to strap her to the hood?…She’ll be fine. It’s not as if it’s going to rain or something.”

A. “Animal House”

B. “King Kong”

C. “National Lampoon’s Vacation”

6. “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.”

A. Erich Fromm

B. Benjamin Franklin

C. Kathy Griffin

7. “The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”

A. Ronald Reagan

B. Winston Churchill

C. Tom Cruise

8. “As is the generation of leaves, so is that of humanity./ The wind scatters the leaves on the ground, but the live timber/ Burgeons with leaves again in the season of spring returning./ So one generation of men will grow while another dies.”

A. Homer Simpson

B. Homer

C. Winslow Homer

9. “To do injustice is more disgraceful than to suffer it.”

A. Plato

B. Karel

C. Bono

10. All I know is what I read in the papers.”

A. Forrest Gump

B. Michele Bachmann

C. Will Rogers

Answers: 1-A, 2-A , 3-C , 4-B , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-B , 9-A , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

“Wisdom tells me I am nothing./ Love tells me I am everything./

Between the two, my life flows.”

   ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

 (Maharaj, 1897-1981, was an Indian spiritual teacher and philosopher.)

  (Published May 26, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

 A. Mark Zuckerberg

B. Mark Twain

C. Mark Cuban

2. “Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself.”

A. Sandra Day O’Conner

B. Richard Dreyfuss

C. Gloria Steinem

3. “There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.”

A. Anwar Sadat

B. Marcia Brady

C. Abraham Lincoln

4. “A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.”

A. Jim Morrison

B. Seth Meyers

C. Ogden Nash

5. “Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”

A. Jon Stewart

B. Norman Vincent Peale

C. Joe Biden

6. “I hold it true, whate’er befall;/  I feel it, when I sorrow most;/  Tis better to have loved and lost/  Than never to have loved at all.”

A. Horatio Alger

B. Laura Ingalls Wilder

C. Alfred Tennyson

7. “I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.”         

A. Henny Youngman

B. Arnold Schwarzenegger

C. Jay Leno

8. “There never will be complete equality until women themselves help to make laws and elect lawmakers.”

A. Susan Sarandon

B. Susan B. Anthony

C. Susan Boyle

9. “Flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men or animals. Some seem to smile, some have a sad expression, some are pensive and diffident, others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock.”  

A. Bruce Springsteen

B. Henry Ward Beecher

C. L. Frank Baum

10. “This is the short and the long of it.”

A. Herman Melville

B. Randy Newman

C. William Shakespeare

Answers: 1-B, 2-C , 3-A , 4-C , 5-A , 6-C , 7-A , 8-B , 9-B , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “There are some things that should never be mentioned in polite society – f’r instance, the doings of Polite Society.” – Elbert Hubbard

 (Hubbard, 1856-1915, was an American writer, publisher, artist and philosopher. He died aboard the Lusitania during WWI.)

  (Published May 19, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “I THINK that I shall never see/ A poem lovely as a tree.”

A. Robert Frost

B. Winnie the Pooh

C. Joyce Kilmer

2. “Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.”

A. Donald Trump

B. Steve Wozniak

C. Yogi Berra

3. “The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.”

A. Walter Winchell

B. Walter Brennan

C. Walter Alston

4. “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”

A. Farmers’ Almanac

B. The Bible

C. Bhagavad Gita

5. “Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.”

A. Penn & Teller

B. Captain & Tennille

C. Calvin & Hobbes

6. “Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don’t think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire.”

A. Leonard Cohen

B. Samuel Johnson

C. Ralph Nader

7. “The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea/ In a beautiful pea green boat,/ They took some honey, and plenty of money,/ Wrapped up in a five pound note.”

A. King Lear

B. Norman Lear

C. Edward Lear

8. “Not only our future economic soundness but the very soundness of our democratic institutions depends on the determination of our government to give employment to idle men.”

A. Franklin D. Roosevelt

B. Abraham Lincoln

C. Rutherford B. Hayes

9. “Pale Death with impartial tread beats at the poor man’s cottage door and at the palaces of kings.”

A. Yoda

B. Nostradamus

C. Horace

10. “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

A. Barney Fife

B. Carl Sagan

C. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Answers: 1-C, 2-C , 3-A , 4-B , 5-C , 6-B , 7-C , 8-A , 9-C , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

“It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.” – Edgar W. Howe

 (Howe, 1853-1937, was a novelist and editor known for his iconoclasm and pessimism.)

  (Published May 12, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”

A. Nurse Ratched

B. Elizabeth Taylor

C. Groucho Marx

2. “Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.”

A. Laurence J. Peter

B. Bashar al-Assad

C. Harry Truman

3. “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

A. Miguel de Cervantes

B. Dr. Seuss

C. Mickey Mantle

4. “That’s the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,/ Lest you should think he never could recapture/ The first fine careless rapture!”

A. Robert Browning

B. Ernest Hemingway

C. Gwyneth Paltrow

5. “A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.”

A. Paul Revere

B. Bill Shoemaker

C. Benjamin Franklin

6. “The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”

A. Mark Twain

B. Leslie Stahl

C. Will Rogers

7. “While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as though he were sure of it. If at the end your cheerfulness in not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful.”

A. Orson Welles

B. Dawn Wells

C. H. G. Wells

8. “It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”

A. Reese Witherspoon

B. Winston Churchill

C. J.R.R. Tolkien

9. “I hate driving, and I hate when people honk at me. Unless I’m making a left turn. Then I like it because that’s how I know it’s time to turn.”

A. Rita Hayworth

B. Rita Rudner

C. Rita Moreno

10. “The measure of a man’s life is the well spending of it, and not the length.”

A. Plutarch

B. Bruno Mars

C. Edgar Cayce

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-B , 4-A , 5-C , 6-A , 7-C , 8-B , 9-B , 10-A

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

 BONUS QUOTE:

 “Children may forget what you say, but they’ll never forget how you make them feel.” – Parker Palmer

 (Palmer is an author, educator and speaker about education, spirituality, and social change.)

  (Published May 5, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “The Roman government gave them bread and circuses. Today we give them bread and elections.”

A. Will Durant

B. Mitt Romney

C. George Gallup

2. “In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone, but sometimes it’s a great relief.”

A. Michelle Duggar

B. John Barrymore

C. Robinson Crusoe

3. “And in the streets the children screamed/ The lovers cried and the poets dreamed/ But not a word was spoken/ The church bells all were broken/ And the three men I admire most/ The Father Son and Holy Ghost/ They caught the last train for the coast/ The day the music died.”

A. Bob Dylan

B. Don McLean

C. Buddy Holly

4. “Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”

A. Red Auerbach

B. Red Barber

C. Red Skelton

5. “Time is the coin of your life. You spend it. Do not allow others to spend it for you.”

A. Susan B. Anthony

B. Mary J. Blige

C. Carl Sandburg

6. “There are only two kinds of freedom in the world; the freedom of the rich and powerful, and the freedom of the artist and the monk who renounces possessions.”

A. Anaïs Nin

B. Mitch McConnell

C. Karl Marx

7. “It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.”

A. Margaret Mitchell

B. Bertrand Russell

C. Mahatma Gandhi

8. “I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.”

A. Thomas Jefferson

B. Abbie Hoffman

C. Ted Nugent

9. “The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” 

A. Yogi Berra

B. Mark Twain

C. Vladimir Nabokov

10. “No person can maximize the American Dream on the minimum wage.”

A. Ben Jealous

B. Ralph Waldo Emerson

C. David Letterman

 Answers: 1-A, 2-B , 3-B , 4-C , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-A , 9-C , 10-A

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

“In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm.” – Isaac Rosenfeld

 (Rosenfeld, 1918-1956, was a Jewish-American writer and member of the New York literary elite.)

  (Published April 28, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”

A. David Crosby

B. Bing Crosby

C. Bill Cosby

2. “It’s a mere moment in a man’s life between an All-Star Game and an Old-timers’ Game.” 

A. Vin Scully

B. Barry Zito

C. Napoleon Bonaparte

3. “If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.”

A. Jodie Foster

B. Laurence Olivier

C. George Burns

4. “What one has not experienced one will never understand in print.”

A. William Shakespeare

B. Isadora Duncan

C. John Belushi

5. “After a certain degree of prettiness, one pretty girl is as pretty as another.”

A. Richard Simmons

B. Nicole Kidman

C. F. Scott Fitzgerald

6. “I am an enemy to long explanations; they deceive either the maker or the hearer, and generally both.”

A. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

B. Benjamin Harrison

C. Al Gore

7. “Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.”

A. Lewis Carroll

B. Jean-Paul Sartre

C. Wayne LaPierre

8. “A very great part of the mischiefs that vex the world arises from words.”

A. David Brooks

B. Edmund Burke

C. Harpo Marx

9. “If you really want to know your mind, the body will always give you a truthful reflection, so look at the emotion, or rather feel it in your body. If there is an apparent conflict between them, the thought will be the lie, the emotion will be the truth.”

A. Eckhart Tolle

B. Leo Durocher

C. Joan Rivers

10. “Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven’t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.”

A. “Bebe” Rebozo

B. Amelia Earhart

C. Will Rogers

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-C , 4-B , 5-C , 6-A , 7-B , 8-B , 9-A , 10-C

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Mistakes are at the very base of human thought, feeding the structure like root nodules. If we were not provided with the knack of being wrong, we could never get anything useful done.” – Lewis Thomas

 (Thomas, 1913-1993, was an American physician, educator and author.)

  (Published April 21, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.”   

A. Audie Murphy

B. Walt Whitman

C. Winston Churchill

2. “Unless the cause of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it hardly can hope to succeed.”

A. Albert Einstein

B. Bo Diddley

C. Arnold Schwarzenegger 

3. “Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.”

A. Louis C.K.

B. Henry David Thoreau

C. Mary Shelley

4. “Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”

A. Groucho Marx

B. Mother Teresa

C. Mark Cuban

5. “Of all the trees that grow so fair Old England to adorn, /Greater are none beneath the Sun/ Than Oak, and Ash and Thorn.”

A. Ogden Nash

B. Dizzy Dean

C. Rudyard Kipling

6. “I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.”

A. Chuck Hagel

B. Willa Cather

C. Arlo Guthrie

7. “When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters — one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.”  

A. John F. Kennedy

B. Mao Tse-tung

C. Julia Roberts

8. “Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”

A. Art Linkletter

B. Vincent van Gogh

C. Oscar Wilde

9.”‘Tis not the dying for a faith that’s so hard… ‘Tis the living up to it that’s difficult.”  

A. Lindsay Lohan

B. William Thackeray

C. Jimmy Swaggart

10. “Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!”

 A. Horace

B. Prince

C. Diogenes

Answers: 1-C, 2-A , 3-B , 4-A , 5-C , 6-B , 7-A , 8-C , 9-B , 10-A

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “Power will intoxicate the best hearts, as wine the strongest heads. No man is wise enough, nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited power.” –Charles Caleb Colton

 (Colton, 1780-1832, was an English clergyman and author.)

  (Published April 14, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

A. C. Everett Koop

B. Don Draper

C. Erma Bombeck

2. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”

A. Rick Pitino

B. Albert Einstein

C. Sean Hannity

3. “Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?”

A. Ralph Waldo Emerson

B. Kate Middleton

C. Emily Dickinson

4. “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

A. Wolfgang Puck

B. Bill Clinton

C. Harry S. Truman

5. “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”

A. Mel Brooks

B. Warren G. Harding

C. Henry David Thoreau

6. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

A. Hugh Hefner

B. Jimmy Choo

C. Marilyn Monroe

7. “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them. ”

A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Lily Tomlin

C. Brian Williams

8. “We’ll always have Paris.”

A. Humphrey Bogart

B. Barron Hilton

C. Charles de Gaulle

9. “Go into the street and give one man a lecture on morality and another a shilling, and see which will respect you most.”

A. Samuel Johnson

B. Samuel Jackson

C. Samuel Clemens

10. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

A. Donald Trump

B. Margaret Thatcher

C. Barbara Walters

Answers: 1-C, 2-B , 3-A , 4-C , 5-C , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-A , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

“Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” – Irvin S. Cobb

 (Cobb, 1876-1944, was an American author, journalist, and humorist.)

  (Published April 7, 2013 in the Monterey County Herald.)

1. “I’m the big rubber clown doll you had as a kid, and every time you hit it, it bounces back. That’s me. The harder you hit me, the faster I come back up.”

A. Ronald McDonald

B. Bill Clinton

C. Tiger Woods

2. “Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand

to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.”

A. Carl Sandberg

B. Lou Gehrig

C. Albert Einstein

3. “Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.”

A. Carl Sagan

B. Billy Graham

C. Bob Costas

4. “Tomorrow is the mysterious, unknown guest.”

A. H. G. Wells

B. Norman Bates

C. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 5. “My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

A. Piers Morgan

B. Eleanor Roosevelt

C. Rita Rudner

6. “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”

A. John Belushi

B. Muhammad Ali

C. Mikhail Baryshnikov

7. “Freedom, well, that’s just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone.”

A. The Kinks

B. The Eagles

C. The Doors

8. “Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal.”

A. George Will

B. Paul Krugman

C. Vince Lombardi

 9. “What experience and history teaches us is that people and governments have never learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it.”

A. George Lopez

B. George W. Bush

C. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel 

10. “Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t.”

A. Samuel Alito

B. George Bernard Shaw

C. Ricky Ricardo

Answers: 1-B, 2-A , 3-A , 4-C , 5-C , 6-B , 7-B , 8-A , 9-C , 10-B

Scoring:               10–QQQQ = Quote-Master   

(number correct)        8-9–QQQ = Scholar                       

                                   6-7–QQ = Literate

                                  4-5–Q = Semi-Literate

                                 0-3–No Q = Quote-Dunce

BONUS QUOTE:

 “A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.” – Doug Larson

 (Larson, b. 1926, was a syndicated newspaper columnist based in Wisconsin.)